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I told the handyman I'd be up at 7am ready for his arrival, ready to give instruction and ready to finally get shit done.
But seeing as I'm a big fat liar (and seeing as getting out of bed early is like torture) I was still half asleep when he knocked on the door. Faaaark! I frantically jumped up, put on the first thing I saw (a very very lose pair of trackies) and greeted him. I'm having a lovely time bossing him round when I realised I completely forgot to buy the tiles he needs! He also needs a sheet of tin so I make a mad dash run for Bunnings. Like a pro racing car driver doing handbrake parking tricks, I skid the car into the parking bay and run inside. I've got my phone and my keys in one hand and I'm holding up my falling trackies in the other. I quickly grab 6 cream coloured tiles, run down to plumbing, harrass the guy in the apron and scoop up the piece of metal sheeting that's nearly as big as I am. Got my stuff. Moving swiftly down aisle 51, skidding round corners, tiles wedged under my arm, metal sheet slipping from my other hand and it's all getting a bit precarious, so I pick up the pace before it all falls out of my arms. OOOPS! whaddya know? Yep. Tiles fall and smash everywhere. BIG noise. Tiles on concrete. Smashed into smithereens. But the best part? My pants fell. Down. To my knees. Yep. Awesome. Luckily only 6 people stared. Yep. Sarcasm. Smashed tiles, pants a bit low, sheet metal now on ground. I empty my arms to pull up my trackies... Gathering everything back up, swearing like a trooper and grumbling under my breath (something about how princesses shouldn't even be out of bed at this hour), I proceeded to the check out and it dawned on me "Far out, I didn't even feel embarrassed about that!" Realising how profound that was, I became very happy and proud of myself. The reason I was proud was because it would have been a very different story a year ago. The thing is, self consciousness and toxic shame underlie feelings of embarrassment. Toxic shame causes fear of making mistakes. Toxic shame causes deep self consciousness. And there was a time, when if I had merely dropped a pen or money on the floor in the supermarket, I would have felt extreme self consciousness and embarrassment. But I've done some serious game changing inner work lately, I've done The Spiral. And now, dropping my pants in Bunnings, is simply not a big deal. It was annoying and frustrating, but no sign of cringing anywhere to be seen. I just love my game changing empowerment tools! If you too would like to let go of emotional baggage, message me today.
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To all the Mum's who cant be with their children on this Mother's Day.
To all the Mum's who are struggling without their children, To all the Mum's who have lost a child, To all the women who wish they were a Mum, but couldn't be, To all the Mum's who are going through conflict with their children, To all the Mum's who have less than an ideal relationship with their children, My heart goes out to you. With all the images of happy mums being spoilt by their devoted children on Facebook today, it's difficult to not feel the pain and grief of a less than perfect relationship. Even so, be gentle with yourself today. And remember: Whilst being a mother is a very important job, and a very important aspect of who you are; It's not the only thing that defines you. It's not the ONLY thing you are or have to offer. Even mothers who have wonderful, close, loving relationships with their children are MORE than a mother. Remember that. And remember to be kind to yourself. Especially today. And doubly ESPECIALLY if those around you aren't. The idea that we should be "strong" as a way to cope with life's difficulties, is not only false, it's also damaging.
Most people believe being 'strong' is a virtue and admirable. But their idea of strong is the impression that's left AFTER they have pushed down their vulnerabilities. Their idea of strength is what other's see AFTER they have disconnected from what they really feel. And that's not strength. That's a mask. The truth is, we don't have to put on a front and appear strong to be strong. That's called emotional suppression. (And the only thing that achieves is damage to our body). Strength is not an appearance. Strength is the ability to feel. Good, bad or otherwise. Strength is not the ability to suppress and appear. True strength is being unafraid to feel confused, lost or weak. True strength is being unafraid to feel anything. True strength is being WILLING to feel anything that arises. True strength is being willing to feel ALL that is present. Even vulnerable, fragile and sensitive. True strength is being able to feel less than. Less than robust and less than confident. Less than we actually want to be feeling. Even weak. (And make no mistake, we've all been there) The truth about strength, my definition of it, is being less than strong and less than capable, AND being perfectly ok with it. True strength is vulnerability and not needing to fix it, change it, distract from it or move away from it. True strength is being comfortable with our own weaknesses. True strength is rising above appearances. True strength is honouring our vulnerabilities and limitations. And accepting and adoring ourselves anyway. Did you know our feelings are true, but our thoughts are not always?
Remember that thing you were scared of when you were a child? Remember how you thought you couldn't ride a bike and how scared you were? Remember how learning to drive a car was scary? Remember all those things you thought you couldn't do and those things you were afraid of? Those thoughts weren't necessarily true, were they? You overcame those fears right? And now you're an adult, there's that thing in the back of your mind you really want to do, that thing you really want to overcome, that thing that feels too scary, that thing that fear stops you from doing, that thing that's been keeping you small; it's just not true that you can't. It's really not true! So do it! Why wait? Those thoughts that say you can't, or you're not good enough, or it's too hard - they're absolutely not true! Stop believing them. Look at all you've already overcome. Look at all the things you've already had to endure and those things you thought you'd never be able to accomplish. They are evidence that your thoughts aren't always helpful. And they're evidence that you are far more capable than you allow yourself to believe.. Fear may very well be present at times, and it may be holding you back, but why let it have it's own way? Why let fear make your decisions for you? See the fear, hear it, feel it, love it and then do that thing ANYWAY! With EFT, overcoming anything is possible. Thoughts? Beliefs? Feelings? Limitations? EFT takes the hard work out of change. EFT is a tool that clears those pesky blocks to reaching your fullest potential. Reach for your potential and upgrade to a better life today. Those who are a highly sensitive people, like me, will know that being highly sensitive involves being highly sensitive to physical pain. There are many gifts inherent in being highly sensitive but sadly, due to our nervous systems, we HSP’s simply have a much lower pain threshold than most. This can make some things like going to the dentist a big deal.
In the past, a visit to the dentist for a filling was an experience that left me a little frazzled for most, if not all of the day but this particular visit, was different. Feeling much more robust than when I last attended (and despite wanting to be a big girl and appear unaffected) I could feel my anxieties heighten as the examination finished and the dentist informed me I’d need a root canal. (HSP’s feel much safer in the world when they can plan ahead and be prepared, so the element of surprise is not always well tolerated). So, when the dentist insisted the root canal would be taking place right NOW, my heart skipped a beat and a deathly feeling of dread descended upon me. Regardless of the intent, people poking around in my mouth with sharp instruments always brings up feelings of vulnerability for me. Even so, the humour in it is not lost on me. Being prone to the freeze aspect of the 'flight/fight/freeze response, I can be like a deer in headlights at times, so, it's funny that, as much as I enjoy putting oxygen in my lungs, my dentist often notices I've stopped doing that very thing and has to remind me to 'Breathe! Breathe Belinda, breathe!'. Even though I had been caught off guard and even though I hadn’t prepared for an invasive treatment, I was comforted by the fact that I have access to EFT’s trusty and immediate powers of stress relief. I knew full well how to alleviate the unwanted stress that was swirling around my body, and I know full well how to reduce my own pain levels so, in truth, I knew I would manage just fine. I’ve been well aware of the immense power of EFT for some time, and even though i’ve successfully used EFT on physical problems, this was the first time I had occasion to use it whilst having dental treatment. Never wanting to pass up an opportunity to test EFT’s capabilities, (and with a mouth full of fingers, and sharp instruments) I went to work applying EFT to rid myself of all the dental anxiety I was experiencing. There I was in the dentist chair, silently tapping away while the nerve of one of my molars was being ripped out at the roots. For those who have never experienced EFT, it’s difficult to adequately explain just how powerful it is but to give you an idea, by the time the root canal was complete, I had only tapped for 20 minutes and there was no sign of anxiety left at all. In fact, as a bonus the opposite was present! I was expecting to only take the edge off my anxiety but for some surprising reason I felt buoyant and full of glee and practically skipped out of the building. Glee! (who even uses that word!) Regardless, that’s exactly what I felt. And the secret to alleviating anxiety and feeling glee? It was my very special finely tuned EFT protocol that I have been developing over the course of the last 6 months. My protocol specifically targets the neurological functions and brain chemicals responsible for anxiety, overwhelm and emotional dysregulation. And as an added bonus, it instills a shot of joy into the system as well. All the discomfort, aching and throbbing I endured over the last couple of months ended today because the dentist went in, accessed the root of the problem and pulled out the offending nerve, so that issues with that tooth could never return. Put crudely, EFT is kinda like a root canal. When done properly, EFT drills into our subconscious mind, reaches in and pulls out the problem at it’s roots. When I realised the symbolism in that experience, I drove home full of glee and with a little smile on my face. I also realised, whether it's physical pain, emotional pain or dental pain it's important to have really good tools (like dentists and EFT) to address those issues, so we don't have to suffer. ....and so we can feel glee. Glee! |
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February 2018
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