Many of my clients come to me because they're at their wits end. Their heads are full of negative thoughts and they can't get control over what's happening in their mind or their life.
They feel exhausted because they've tried so hard to change. They're not complacent, they're proactive, they take action to help themselves, but they're still at a loss. Exasperated they say "I spend so much time trying to do the positive thinking thing, the affirmations thing and even visualisations but it doesn't work! I even meditate to get rid of them. And I'm so confused because I'm doing all the right things and they're still there!"
And I agree with them completely. Negative thoughts ARE unhelpful. And sometimes they DO dominate and take on a life of their own. And, when we can't control them, they have very little value. So yes, let's change them.
My clients are right on the money y'know? They're looking to improve themselves and they know they won't get to where they want to be without having a positive mindset. But here's the thing they DON'T know. And here's the thing most people don't know.
Negative thoughts are NOT the problem.
They are the OUTCOME of the problem.
They are the SYMPTOM of a deeper issue.
They are the result of things going on beneath the surface.
The truth is: negative thinking is the RESULT of trapped emotions and blocked energy. Emotional blocks are created when an issue is unresolved - it's undischarged energy, STILL sitting in our system; trapped, looking for a way out.
That's why it's the same thoughts over and over.
That's why it's the same feelings over and over.
That's why it's the same pattern over and over.
It's a memory or an event that's unresolved, undischarged and trapped in the system. And this is the reason why positive thinking doesn't work. Positive thinking is the ultimate outcome, it's not a solution; it CANT be the solution!
Think of it like this:
You're driving your car when you hear a clunking sound coming from the engine. You're alarmed but you really want your car to run properly. You don't want to think your car has a problem, so you really don't want to hear the sound. The solution? Ignore it. Turn on the radio to drown it out. But the sound just gets louder, so you wind the window up. And then over time, the sound just gets louder and faster. It's at that point you decide to address it by focusing on the positive things. Thinking it's a great idea, you think about the positive attributes of my car as a solution to the clunkiness. And you start looking at all the wonderful parts of the car that you love so much.
"Oh, the colour of my car is wonderful" and "I really love how fast my car goes" and "my car has wonderful air conditioning..."
Essentially, positive thinking ignores the problem and seeks to smother the niggling issue with positivity. Distract, ignore and smother. They don't address the REAL reason, the deeper reason, the negative thoughts are there in the first place.
So, how do we get around this?
My suggestion is we learn to address our issues at their core, not at their symptoms. We need to dig deeper. Because positivity WILL come. Happiness and ease WILL come. Lightness and flow WILL come. We just have to eliminate what's between us and it, FIRST.
Eliminate - not distract or smother.
Because, the truth is, a bandaid doesn't heal.
Unblocking the trapped energy and discharging the emotion at it's roots is what heals.