To all the Mum's who cant be with their children on this Mother's Day.
To all the Mum's who are struggling without their children,
To all the Mum's who have lost a child,
To all the women who wish they were a Mum, but couldn't be,
To all the Mum's who are going through conflict with their children,
To all the Mum's who have less than an ideal relationship with their children,
My heart goes out to you.
With all the images of happy mums being spoilt by their devoted children on Facebook today, it's difficult to not feel the pain and grief of a less than perfect relationship.
Even so, be gentle with yourself today.
Whilst being a mother is a very important job, and a very important aspect of who you are;
It's not the only thing that defines you.
It's not the ONLY thing you are or have to offer.
Even mothers who have wonderful, close, loving relationships with their children are MORE than a mother.
And remember to be kind to yourself.
And doubly ESPECIALLY if those around you aren't.
The idea that we should be "strong" as a way to cope with life's difficulties, is not only false, it's also damaging.
Most people believe being 'strong' is a virtue and admirable.
But their idea of strong is the impression that's left AFTER they have pushed down their vulnerabilities.
Their idea of strength is what other's see AFTER they have disconnected from what they really feel.
And that's not strength.
That's a mask.
The truth is, we don't have to put on a front and appear strong to be strong.
That's called emotional suppression. (And the only thing that achieves is damage to our body).
Strength is not an appearance.
Strength is the ability to feel.
Good, bad or otherwise.
Strength is not the ability to suppress and appear.
True strength is being unafraid to feel confused, lost or weak.
True strength is being unafraid to feel anything.
True strength is being WILLING to feel anything that arises.
True strength is being willing to feel ALL that is present.
Even vulnerable, fragile and sensitive.
True strength is being able to feel less than.
Less than robust and less than confident.
Less than we actually want to be feeling.
(And make no mistake, we've all been there)
The truth about strength, my definition of it, is being less than strong and less than capable, AND being perfectly ok with it.
True strength is vulnerability and not needing to fix it, change it, distract from it or move away from it.
True strength is being comfortable with our own weaknesses.
True strength is rising above appearances.
True strength is honouring our vulnerabilities and limitations.
And accepting and adoring ourselves anyway.